bill consolidating - Signs of potential dating violence

Although each dangerous relationship is different in terms of signs and severity, experts say that general preventative education can begin at a young age to not only equip children with the information necessary to recognize threatening behavior, but to combat potential abusers, too."Dating violence is an expression of limited or poor coping ability on behalf of the perpetrator," said Chris Brady, a social worker in Monroe County.

"If we focused early on, on teaching kids how to better cope and equipping them with the necessary social skills as a preventative measure, we'd find far fewer cases of dating violence later on."Look for signs of the abuser controlling information: phone use, conversations and friendships"Anything that makes somebody feel not good is a tactic an abuser can use," said Will Averill, a community engagement specialist who works with dating violence survivors.

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The following is a list of behaviors that may indicate a potential batterer.

It is not the purpose of the listing to imply that every person with some of these attributes is a batterer or potential batterer.

"If it's happening to a friend or family, offer support."If your child is experiencing dating violence, make sure they know you are a resource"We don't tell survivors what to do, we give them safety options.

Ask things like will it help if I make plans to keep you busy outside of school or on weekends?

He said that if we began having conversations about passive violence at an early age, we can address the root of the problem before it escalates.

Passive violence comes in many forms, but is typically derived out of self interest.

"We need to acknowledge that people are not only managing their own safety, but the safety of their classmates and families.

The threats of harm can supersede the victims, themselves."Provide consistent opportunities to ask for help"If you ask if everything is OK and they say it's complicated, know that something is likely bad, but that then might not be the time to act on it.

Not only is leaving a relationship potentially dangerous, but it often comes with a shame and stigma," Graham said. Has the person threatened to kill you or themselves in the past 90 days? When strangulations have been present in the relationship before, that ups the ante," says Graham. Maybe that means sneaking out of the back door and over to the neighbor's house if things get bad. "Brady said that while schools are doing more to address dating violence at the high school level, incorporating a very intense social skills program into K-12 education curriculums is essential if we want to see positive long-term change.

Have a safety plan"Do you have a safe phone you can use to call 911? Or have a signal for when it's OK to call 911," said Graham. According to Brady, the conversations that take place surrounding dating violence typically occur retrospectively.

Averill agreed."From a very early age we can start to establish boundaries and what personal boundaries are and mean.

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