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For example, the idea Chivers brought up that women are sexually more “receptive” and less “go-out-there-and-get-it” coincides with a broader view of women as passive.
In 2016, Chivers and her colleagues published a paper in the exploring this phenomenon among women of different sexual orientations, finding that lesbians responded more “like men.” Headlines reporting on it read: “Women Are Either Bisexual or Gay But ‘Never Straight.’ This Is the Fascinating Reason Women Have Evolved to Become Bisexual. Vaginal lubrication and pupil dilation (the measures in these studies) don’t tell you what people’s desires are because desire is a subjective experience.
And, even if they did tell you about people’s desires, what we get turned on by doesn’t have to dictate how we identify.
“Us girls, we are so magical, soft skin, red lips, so kissable, hard to resist, so touchable,” Katy Perry sings in “I Kissed a Girl.” This line depicts a very stereotypical, objectified version of womanhood that treats women more like fairies or unicorns than actual people. One very likely explanation for the greater number of women identifying as bisexual in the US is that it’s more socially acceptable for women than it is for men.
And by claiming that women are naturally more bisexual, we’re only contributing to that social norm.
And trying to make that call for someone takes away one of the most important powers we have: the power to define ourselves.
There’s a huge difference between openly identifying as bisexual and identifying as straight while occasionally having same-gender attraction (or not even having attraction but exhibiting physical signs of arousal in response to same-gender images).
And using it as shorthand for every polysexual identity erases the important reasons why some people identify with other terms.
The explanations given for why more women than men are bisexual often sound suspiciously like gender stereotypes.
*** When that article came out, a lot of my friends thought it was great for feminism.
Finally, they said, we’re thinking about what women desire, rather than just assuming everyone’s like men.
The claim that women are biologically more likely to get turned on by more than one gender is inherently shaky. Diamond, who argued that women have less rigid sexual desires than men in , has been reconsidering that stance.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating